


Ummm, I have a GF

by Pomander



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amethyst plays the drums, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Greg learns about aliens, Less of Rose's bullshit, More tags to be added, No Steven in this one, Other, Slow Burn, but still some, grasper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-08-05 09:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomander/pseuds/Pomander
Summary: Recent community college drop-out Greg Universe (aka Mr. Universe) decides to stay in Beach City after an unsuccessful venture into the music business. He gets to watch first-hand as his new home and the surrounding areas are attacked again and again by aliens and 'monsters'. Though at first it seems like there's nothing he- a mere human- can do to help them fend off attacks, he is desperate to try. Maybe, by approaching the ~*heart*~ of the matter, instead of attacking back, he can make a difference.AU where Peridot checks in on the Cluster just a couple decades sooner. And also Rose maybe doesn't lie as much. Maybe.





	1. You're Crashing But You're No Wave

"I'll soar like a comet!

Fly like a comet!

Crash like a comet!

...I'm just a comet."

Mr. Universe finished his set on his knees, long hair draped over his eyes. The cheap plywood stage had torn at the front of his pants during his last slide, and if he stood before the lights went off, the audience might see his bloodied, splintered knees.

Not that there was an audience for this performance. His manager, Marty, had linked arms with the only spectator and taken her to the back of Greg's van to fool around. Once again, Greg Universe had found himself playing for an empty beach. Maybe scheduling a Tuesday night performance after 10 pm wasn't a great way to fill seats, after all.

Greg took a deep breath to steady his aching heart, timing his inhale and exhale with the sound of the waves on the shore. Marty had placed so much faith in him as Mr. Universe, but if eight concerts in a row were total flops, maybe it was time to call it quits. Re-enroll in community college and have another go at-

"Bravo."

He nearly inhaled his hair when he heard her voice. Sputtering, he brushed his locks free from his face and quickly rose to his feet. There, between the glare of the stage lights and the red glow of the setting sun, he could see the silhouette of a person. Her arms were moving, but he could barely hear the sound of her applause over the crashing waves. Who was this chick?

"Thank you! Thank you!" He called out, pulling his guitar strap over himself. Before he had even gotten it free, her clapping had ceased. He leaned his instrument against the speakers before hopping down into the sand. The swell of pride in his chest almost drowned out the sharp pain of the splinters still embedded in his knees. He smiled brightly, willing the pain away as best he could while he walked forward to greet his first fan. "Did you like the show?" he asked with a smile.

The tall, slender woman before him looked surprised at the question. "Er, not really," she said with a shrug, "but it's polite to show applause after someone performs. And since there was no one else around to clap for you.. well..."

Greg's heart sank. "Oh uh. Yeah. Well, thanks for listening, anyway."

She quickly turned to glance at the bright sky behind her, the large jewel on her forehead glinting in the red light of the approaching sun. Greg wondered if she was busy, and just stopped by his concert on her way to go do something else. What else was there to do in this town on a Tuesday night, though?. She turned back toward him and looked him over, her birdlike features carrying an expression of pity.

"But!" she squawked, "your music does have a certain... um..  _je ne sais quoi_  to it! It sounds an awful lot like something Rose might like." She put her finger to her chin in a mock show of deep thought.

"Who's Rose?" Greg asked sullenly.

"My um. My girlfriend." He could have sworn he saw a blue tinge to her cheeks, but shrugged it off as a product of the weird lighting. "She's out of town at the moment, but if you perform here tomorrow night, I'm sure she'd love to see it!"

Greg couldn't help but light up at that. "Hell yeah!" he shouted, throwing his fist up in the air. Of course, Marty would probably pitch a fit about staying in this little beachside town another day, but if Greg could manage to _maybe_ sell off some merchandise, he was sure Marty would change his tune.

"Oh, wonderful!" the woman exclaimed, clapping her hands briefly. She glanced behind herself again. "Now, I think you should probably go."

"Oh? Nah, I've still gotta tear down for the night. I mean, we'll leave the stage up but I've gotta pack up my equipment so it doesn't get damaged or stolen. Then Marty and I'll probably find a hotel-"

"No, no no! I mean go _that_ way!" she said, pointing toward the town behind him. "Get in your vehicle and Go. that. Way. Now?"

Greg turned to see where she was pointing. "Um, why?" he asked.

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes and turned away, running toward the ocean. There was a blindingly bright flash of white light, and when Greg opened his eyes again, he found her standing in front of a- _was that a fricking cannon??_ She reached forward, quickly adjusting the angle of the cannon, pointing it up at the sky. It was then that Greg himself finally saw what she had been glancing at while they were talking.

The red glow that Greg had mistaken for a late-night summer sunset was not from the sun at all. He really should have realized this sooner. Instead, the light was radiating from some humongous, scarlet-colored... _man, it really looked like an eyeball_. The thing had to be about the size of the moon, and it was growing closer and closer to where he stood by the second. The waves of the ocean rose upward violently, and Greg could feel the pull of gravity shifting around him with the sheer mass of the thing drawing him toward it. His stomach turned, and as he took a step backward, he found himself stumbling, falling flat on his ass into the sand. He scrambled backward a bit, but it didn't feel like he was getting any further from the approaching menace.

The strange woman in front of him didn't seem scared by this thing in the least. In fact, she pulled a glowing spear straight out of the jewel on her forehead, and brandished it at the eyeball with a war cry that would have made Greg pee his torn-up pants if she were facing _him_ down. She then shouted something in another language (It sounded a bit like Greek to Greg. But then _most_ languages were Greek to him.) and struck the base of the cannon with her spear like she was going for a home run. The cannon responded to her command by firing an intense beam of light straight to the center of the scarlet eye. When the pulse of the recoil hit, Greg thanked the stars that he was already sitting down.

In an instant the eye broke apart, flinging chunks and shards of itself in every direction. The woman with the spear jumped up and deflected a huge piece that had been flying in Greg's direction. His heart pounded and he wondered how he hadn't passed out yet. Maybe he had hours ago, and this was all a strange, fantastic dream.

"Are you alright?" The woman asked, holding an open hand out to him. Greg looked quickly to the spear in her other hand, his gaze traveling up it's spiral blade to the incredibly sharp-looking tip.

"Wh-who the heck are you?!" he croaked.

"Oh!" The spear glowed softly and then faded to nothingness. "How rude of me not to have introduced myself sooner. Where are my manners?" She stood up straight, having forgotten all about helping him up by that point. "I'm Pearl," She said with a polite bow, "one of the Crystal Gems, and a defender of Earth. And you're quite welcome."

The remains of the scarlet eye dropped into the ocean, sending giant waves crashing onto the beach. Greg, with half of a breath in him, was swept back by the rush of water as it quickly flooded the shore.

 

 

 


	2. What if I Go?

Greg scrambled to his feet, coughing up seawater. Aside from being drenched, he was covered in wet sand and refuse from the sea. The salt water stung his eyes and the raw skin of his knees. He felt a tug on the end of his hair, and pulled it forward to find a large crab tangled in his messy locks.

  
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!" Marty threw open the back door of Greg's van and tumbled out. The incoming wave had been powerful enough to knock the vehicle on its side and push it back toward the dunes. Greg watched as the young blonde woman in Marty's company poked her head out the door to scan the area.

"Aw man," she grumbled, taking in the state of her surroundings, "not again! I swear, they do this every week." She reached back to grab her studded black jacket, and pulled it on as she climbed out. Glancing in Greg's direction, then past him, she finally smiled. "Wow, what happened to your stage? I must have missed one heck of a concert, huh?"

Greg freed the crab from his hair and tossed it to the sand, turning to finally take a look at the stage. What a wreck. A hefty sized chunk of that eye had hit the stage, and was still lodged into one of his speakers. The banner had been torn, the stage collapsed, there were folding chairs everywhere, and about half of his equipment overall had been hit by the huge wave that got him and his van.

"Oh. Oh jeez."

"Greg! What the hell, man? I leave you alone for five minutes and you destroy the whole stage? What do you think you're doing?"

"It wasn't my fault!" he shot back. "There was this weird floating eye thing and this girl- person- who just pulled out a frickin' cannon and shot it down! And then it just _WVHWOOOSHH!_ You know?" He was flailing his arms wildly motioning from the sky to the ocean, then to the shore. Judging by the look on Marty's face, his pantomime was falling short.

Marty reached up to rub one of his temples. "Vidalia? Baby?" he said, turning to the girl he had been gone with for definitely longer than five minutes, "Why don't you head home? It's getting late and Goofus and I need to get this mess packed up so we can hit the road. Sound good, babe?"

Greg was about to protest, but Vidalia beat him to it, slinking up to Marty's side with a coy smile. "Ooooor," she offered, "You and your buddy could come back to my place for the night. He could take the couch, and you and I can pick up where we left off? Maybe even..."

She pulled Marty by the shirt collar until she was level with his ear, and whispered something Greg was grateful not to be audience to. He watched as Marty's expression changed from frustration to interest, to outright embarrassment at whatever it was Vidalia had planned for him. Did Greg have any earplugs stashed in his glove box? He thought he packed them, but it would never hurt to double check.

They turned the van back upright, but to Greg's dismay it wouldn't start. With no other option, they locked up anything that could blow away and followed Vidalia on foot. Luckily, her house wasn't too far from the beach.

Vidalia, despite her apparent eagerness to jump into bed with Marty, had taken steps to ensure Greg was a comfortable guest in her home. "There's a bathroom right down the hall here," she told him, tossing a pile of quilts and a pillow onto the sofa. "Light switch on your right, and the hot water nozzle on the tap is broken. Phone's in the kitchen if you gotta make a call. And uhhhh- oh! Before I forget." She knelt down by the end of the couch and reached under to pull out a large glass bottle. "You want a nightcap?" she asked, holding it in his direction.

"Thanks, but no ," Greg said with his best smile. "I'll just hit the hay."

"Suit yourself," she said with a shrug. "I'll leave it on the table in case you change your mind." With a not-so-subtle wink she was off, to some room upstairs where Marty was waiting.

His instincts told him to sleep, but Greg's mind was far too active mulling over the previous events of the evening. He had seen some strange jeweled woman pull a Spear. Out. Of. Her. Head. That was wild! Not to mention he had no idea what that eye thing was or where it had come from. He had certainly never seen anything like it. He began to pace the living room. Could it have been a UFO? Was that woman with the FBI? If so, why was she so decked out??? Greg was pretty sure being an undercover agent meant blending in, not looking like a bejeweled aerobics instructor. What was her deal?

She had mentioned a girlfriend who would want to see Greg perform. Greg balked, stopping in his tracks and sinking into the couch behind him. He couldn't put on another concert with his equipment wrecked like that! Hopefully she'd be willing to take a rain check on that.

Though his head was still buzzing with excitement, Greg eventually did manage to fall asleep. He woke up early the next morning to Marty shouting in the kitchen, with one hand holding the phone to his ear, and the other frantically flipping through the pages of a phone book. Greg yawned, stretched, and hobbled over to join his manager.

"Bad news, kid," Marty growled holding his palm over the speaker, "My guy Rick ain't gonna make it out this far to fix your shit- YEAH I'M STILL HERE HOLD ON- and we didn't get a warranty on those speakers. The lights are probably still good but- RICK CAN YOU GIVE ME A MINUTE?- where was I? Oh right, this little hick town probably isn't gonna have what we need. I'm thinking we get the van fixed then head out to Empire City, yeah?" Marty didn't wait for an actual response from Greg before following with "Yeah, Rick, we can just meet you there. Might not be until tomorrow morning but Starchild and I can take turns driving and we should get there by two. Haha nah man, you're crazy."

Greg sighed and slumped back against the wall. The upside of having Marty as a manager was that he was great on the business side of things, like what kind of lighting the stage needed or where to buy speakers. The downside was that Marty was kind of bossy.

"Wow, he takes care of business, huh?" Vidalia whispered.

Greg nearly hopped out of his skin. "Jeez! Where'd you come from?!"

She smirked. "I live here?"  
  
"Right! Yeah! I knew that. Say, not to change the subject or anything, but is there any place in town to snag a warm bagel? i could go for some breakfast."

She gave him directions to the local donut shop, and he set out, leaving Marty to phone business, and her to... whatever it was that she did on Wednesday mornings. The sun was coming up over Beach City, dispelling the early morning chill and casting a golden light over inch by inch of the town. Greg got his bagel and decided to wander around for a bit, watching the town slowly bloom into activity as its residents awoke. He passed a movie theater, an arcade, a tiny amusement park. Despite not actually being much of a city, the town had a fair amount going for it. Greg had traveled enough to know he was probably just falling prey to the magical sonder of an unfamiliar town in its twilight hours. That said, he couldn't help but smile, waving hello to every bleary-eyed local that he passed on the street.

Eventually, he found himself at the beach. The wreckage of his stage looked almost surreal in the morning light, like the scene of a party long abandoned by guests that had had a bit too much fun. He finished his bagel before surveying the true extent of the damage. His guitar was scratched up, but it would survive. His amp was shot. Almost nothing was unscathed; everything had been hit by water, sand, or flying chunks of the scarlet eye. Oddly, he couldn't actually find any of said chunks while he was looking things over. He scanned the beach- there had definitely been some Greg-sized pieces sticking up out of the sand the night before. But now there were none.

Greg might have thought they washed away with the waves if not for the dozens of footprints scattered along the sand. Someone (several someones, judging by the varying sizes of tracks) had come by in the last eight or so hours, and moved every last piece of eye off the beach. Puzzled, he tried to make sense of the direction of the tracks. Aside from those he was sure were his own, it seemed most of the footprints pointed either from or toward the huge hill at the end of the shoreline, on top of which a lighthouse was perched. Squinting against the morning sunlight, Greg began to make his way toward the hill.

He stopped when he felt a strange vibration beneath his feet, not unlike hoofbeats, but much heavier. It grew stronger second by second. Greg quickly turned around to find some humongous, shaggy, horned dog running toward him from the other side of the shoreline. Behind the creature, running at what Greg thought was an impossible speed, were three strange women he had never seen before. On its back however, was someone he recognized. Pearl, from the night before, had both hands dug into the creature's long messy hair, and was holding on for dear life.

"Heads up!" one of the other women shouted. Greg froze. The creature was almost upon him. He could feel the vibration of every footstep resounding in his chest. One of the women jumped over the creature and tackled him, pulling him out of harm's way. She wore iridescent sunglasses and a perfectly coiffed cube-shaped afro. Greg couldn't sputter out so much as a 'thank you' before she jumped off of him and back into the fray. "Amethyst!" She shouted, "Reign it in!"

"Gotcha!"

Greg glanced up and watched as a child in a romper, completely purple from head to toe, pulled out a whip and lashed at the creature, catching it by the leg. The giant dog was pulled to a sudden stop, nearly throwing Pearl off it's mane in the process.

The last of the group, an eight-foot tall fairy in a prom dress, jumped a good ten feet straight into the air and then drop-kicked the dog square in the jaw. Pearl hopped off its back, and then Greg's own jaw dropped straight into the sand as the creature exploded into a cloud of dust.

"Good work, team." the besunspectacled woman said, deadpan. The child whooped with joy. Pearl bent down gracefully to pull a large brown stone from the sand and handed it to the fairy, who formed some sort of magical bubble around it, and made it vanish into the air. Greg wondered what the monster dog had done to deserve such a fate. Had it stolen the rock from them? The besunspectacled woman turned to him, and he quickly pushed himself onto his feet. He still needed to thank her for saving him. "Pearl," she said softly, "You have unfinished business with this human."

Greg thought it was odd that she just flat out called him a human, but he waved hello to Pearl and the rest of her group. "Uh, hi," he said, forcing a smile, "thanks for the rescue."

Pearl's face lit up with recognition. "Oh! Rose!" she reached over to tap the fairy on the shoulder. "This is the human I was telling you about last night. The musician? I told him he should come back tonight to play for you!"

"Hello, human!" Rose smiled softly and waved back to him. Was everyone planning on calling him 'human'?

"Yeah, uh, nice to meet you. My name's Greg. Greg Universe."

The purple child transformed herself into a cat and rushed over to him. "I'm Amethyst!" she said, circling around him, "I like your hair!"

"Th-thanks? I like your um... ability to break the laws of physics as I knew them."

She purred and rubbed up against his leg.

The besunspectacled woman was suddenly at his side. "Garnet," she said simply, holding out her hand for him to shake. He took it and watched as she looked him over, sizing him up. Apparently she found him acceptable, or at least she didn't turn him into a frog right then and there. "Looking forward to seeing you in concert," she finally added before scooping up cat-amethyst and turning back toward Pearl and Rose.

Realization suddenly dawned on Greg. "Right, my equipment!," he said, clutching his head. "Pearl, I'm so sorry but it got wrecked last night-" he figured it was partially her fault, but would never just come out and say it, he was raised better than _that_. "Marty and I have to head up to the city to get it fixed, then I'll probably have a bunch of stuff to do while i'm there. It may be a couple weeks before I can get back here to give you a proper show. I'm so sorry."

"Actually, there's someone here in town who can fix it for you," said Garnet.

"Wait, really?"

She shrugged and turned away toward the hill, still carrying Amethyst in her arms.

Rose wrapped one arm around Pearl and pulled her close. "Oh, don't worry so much about it," she said with a smile and a wink. "I'll keep an ear out for you on the radio."

Greg felt his face grow warm. He wasn't that good, not yet.

She looked past him, toward the wreckage of his stage. "I'm sorry your stuff got ruined," she said, "guess last night must have been pretty wild."

Pearl huffed and crossed her arms. "I told him he needed to get out of the way!"

Greg shrugged. "Yeah I guess I should have seen that thing coming. What was it, anyway?"

Rose and Pearl glanced to each other, sharing a silent conversation Greg was not privy to. "You know? We're still not really sure!" Rose answered with a cheesy smile. "Oh, but I'm sorry I missed it! I'll bet it was neat to see Pearl in action! Was she cool or what?" She stared at Greg with starry eyes.

"She was pretty awesome," Greg answered honestly. She had taken down something the size of the moon with a single hit. He'd be lying if he said it was anything but cool.

"See?" Rose said, shaking her girlfriend by the shoulder. "It's not just me! Humans think you're cool, too!" Pearl covered her face with her hands and begged Rose to stop teasing her, but Greg could see her smiling wide. "Well," Rose said with a gentle laugh, "It's been a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Universe. I hope to see you around!"

"Yeah, you too, bye-" He was cut off as Rose took Pearl into her arms bridal style and leaped high into the air, floating her way over toward the lighthouse.

Greg sank into the sand, his hand still lazily waving in the air. The past twenty four hours had definitely broken his record for 'most unusual day ever', completely overshadowing the day he won his van in a hula-hooping contest. He decided pause the weird streak and laid down in the sand, taking a moment to stare up at the sky and listen to the waves and the gulls. He took a deep breath of the salty air and relaxed.

"Hey, there you are!" Greg's relaxation was broken almost instantly by Marty's approach. "I've been looking all over town for ya. We've got a change of plans!"

"Yeah?" Greg quickly sat up and dusted the sand from his shirt.

"So, Ricky's gonna drive out to meet us here, and he's got a buddy bringing a tow-truck. They should be here in about an hour. We gotta pack up and get ready for 'em."

"Oh. Alright." Greg rose slowly to his feet, not bothering with the rest of the sand on his clothes. He stared down the wreckage of his stage and his van. By the end of the day, he'd be checked in to a shoddy hotel in Empire City, getting drunk with Marty and Rick and Rick's buddy by the hotel pool. Then, tomorrow would mark the first real day of his musical career, as the three of them scoured the city for a place to repair his equipment and small gigs to play. Maybe that Rose lady would really hear him on the radio some day.

He and Marty spent the next hour pulling the stage and speakers out of the sand, and loading them up into the van. Marty spent most of the time rambling on about such and such, but Greg was too stuck in his own head to catch even half of what his manager was saying. There was something on his mind, an idea that he didn't want breaching out into the open, all based on a gut feeling. He knew it was ridiculous. But he couldn't shake it.

Greg had been looking for excitement when he decided to follow Marty's advice, drop out, and head on the road to Empire City to try and make it big. He wasn't sure he had the skill to make it in the music world, but Marty believed in him so he dropped everything and said yes. That had been six weeks ago, and Greg knew fame and success never happened overnight. But so far, almost no one had shown up to any of his concerts, and absolutely no one- not even Marty himself- had stuck around for a whole show. Greg couldn't help but wonder if maybe he wasn't ready to pursue a life of fame. Maybe Marty was right; maybe Greg had talent. But maybe talent wasn't enough.

He wouldn't dare bring any of this up with Marty. Marty would flip his lid if Greg suggested he needed more time to hone his skills. He tended to flip his lid a lot, that's just the way he was. The two of them were leaned against the side of Greg's van, drinking warm soda, waiting for Rick and Rick's buddy who were running late, and Marty already looked like his lid was mere seconds away from flipping. There was no way to breach the idea without getting an earful.

Unless Marty was too busy giving an earful to someone else. Greg's lucky break came when Rick, good ol' trusty Rick, showed up sans his buddy and his buddy's tow-truck. Marty absolutely lost it. Greg simply sat back, his mouth clenched shut, and watched the two of them bicker.

"WELL," Marty huffed, "You tell me then! How are we supposed to get this piece of junk all the way up to the city, hm? Fuck, man, you had one job!"

Greg rolled his eyes. "You know," he finally piped up, "I could just hang back here until the van is fixed, then drive it up there to meet you guys."

The two of them finally fell silent, staring at him like he was some sort of idiot genius. "You wanna trust one of these local yokels to fix that thing?" Rick asked, pointing his thumb to the van.

"Yeah, why not?" Greg replied with a shrug. "I hear city mechanics will overcharge you as soon as look at you, anyway. Shouldn't take more than a day or two, and it'd give you some downtime from all that management junk. You look like you could use a break."

Marty took a moment to consider. "Yeah, I don't see why not. About time I got out of here, any way. You give me a call when you're ready to head up okay? You've got Ricky's number in your glove box."

"Yeah yeah, drive safe." As Ricky's car pulled away, he counted himself lucky that he wouldn't be stuck in a cramped space for five hours with two guys who had just been at each other's throats only moments ago. With that out of the way, he took a deep breath, and a moment to stretch, then climbed into the driver's seat for a much needed nap.

He had barely begun to doze off when he heard a loud screech and the flapping of massive wings. Out the passenger side window, he could see some huge, spiky blue monster flying over Beach city.

"Is this going to be a regular thing?" he groaned.


	3. Beetle-Snake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hggg posting this while half asleep. I need to edit a little more but it can wait until I'm not passing out. if you are reading this...
> 
>  
> 
> ilu

"So, how long are you staying for, then?" Vidalia asked through a mouthful of fries.

"I dunno yet. We'll see what Marty says." Greg dipped his hamburger straight into a pile of ketchup. "When he figures it out," he added.

"Why here, though? Why not go back home?"

"If I go home, my folks'll hound me about going back to school. And this town is nice. Quiet."

Vidalia gave him a skeptical look.

"Okay, minus the monster attacks, and those gem ladies. What is up with that, anyway? I mean what are they?"

She shrugged, finally swallowing the rest of her fries. "Everyone's got their own guesses on that. Witches, aliens, physical manifestations of the Earth's desire to protect herself from threats both foreign and domestic, fairies..."

"What's your guess?"

"Witches, definitely. I mean, they've all got old lady names and everything. Garnet? Agnes? Pearl? Rose? You can't hear those names together and _not_ believe they're witches."

"I think it's Amethyst, actually."

"No, I'm pretty sure her name's Garnet. Anyways they've been here since before this town existed, so whatever they are, they're ancient. If it weren't for all those monsters they bring to town, it wouldn't be so bad having them around. But like. It's been a lot of monsters lately, you know? Basically every week at this point. If you're gonna stay here, you better be willing to put up with that."

"Pssh, no sweat."

Within three days, he had found a place to stay (Vidalia's house), someone who could fix his ruined equipment (Bill, Vidalia's buddy), and somewhere to work (Vidalia gave him the lead about the donut shop hiring). The mechanic said it would be another day or two before he could finish up Greg's van, but that wasn't a big deal.

He spent his first day at the Big Donut genuinely smiling. All the stress of leaving school, being on the road with Marty, trying to get a foot in the door on the music scene, had all really worn him down. In the past eight weeks, he had been longing for a real break. And not one of Marty's "two guys, five girls, and a hot-tub" kind of breaks, no. This was better. This was genuine human interaction. Or, in the case of the Crystal Gems, some sort of... alien interaction.

"You guys should really make more flavors of donut. I dig the raspberry jelly, but have you ever tried petroleum jelly?" Amethyst was eyeing the pastry selection with her face flat against the glass.

"I... have not, no," Greg admitted. "But then again, I'm not really in charge of deciding what we sell here. Yet." He pulled a small notepad out from under the counter, and a pen from his shirt pocket. "If you've got any suggestions, I can run them by my manager," he said with a wink and a smile.

Amethyst pulled her face from the glass with a loud POP. "You bet I have suggestions!" she hollered. She leaned against the counter as he put the pen to paper. "How abouuuut diesel, starfish, _triple_ banana, cheddar, sriracha..."

"How do you spell that last one? Greg asked, laughing. She didn't respond. He glanced up to find her staring out the glass door apprehensively. "Uh, Amethyst?"

"Ah, crap. I gotta go!" Greg watched her speed out of the shop and down the street. Curious, he hopped over the counter and peeked out the door himself. Was there another monster nearby? He heard erratic footsteps and the sound of a car alarm, but wasn't sure where the noise was coming from.

"Amethyst?" he called out cautiously. Two responses followed: a deafening, monstrous shriek and Amethyst's demonstration of the Doppler effect as she was thrown over the roof of a nearby building, past Greg, and straight into a nearby parked car. Greg watched in horror as she instantly disappeared in a puff of dust over the pavement, leaving behind only the large purple gemstone she wore on her chest. The monster that had thrown her reared its head from behind the building, staring Greg down with a singular, green eye from inside its jaws.

All fifty feet of it's long, black body coiled up onto the rooftop, preparing to strike. Greg panicked, and made a mad dash for Amethyst's gemstone. He scooped it up, tucked it into his shirt pocket, and sprinted off in another direction. A spray of hot liquid hit him in the back and he hissed in pain. He stumbled to his knees, shaking, then sprinted behind a nearby dumpster, praying it was enough cover that the centipede wouldn't see him. The liquid on his back had by then seeped through the fabric of his shirt, and was burning the skin of his back and shoulders like mad. He hunched over in pain, and the gemstone rolled out of his shirt pocket onto the pavement.

Before he could pick it back up, it levitated itself into the air just above his head. The stone glowed brilliantly, the light around it quickly taking the shape of a simple human form. As the light slowly dimmed, Greg realized he was seeing Amethyst herself take shape. She stood before him, looking slightly confused and ever so slightly different than she had just moments ago in the shop.

"Yikes, what did I miss?" she asked, glancing around her.

Greg croaked in pain.

"You okay there, dude?"

"Just peachy," he said with a grimace.

"Alright, hold that thought." She reached over and picked up the dumpster, hoisting it up over her head. "Stay right there, okay? I'll be back after I finish this thing off!"

Greg didn't really see any other options but okay. He'd stay put. He took a few deep breaths through gritted teeth. The pain of whatever that fluid was doing to his skin wasn't so bad except it was throbbing at the same pace as his rapidly rising heartbeat. No big deal, really. Amethyst yelled something behind him, there was another roar, and then a loud crash- presumably she threw the dumpster- And suddenly she was back, looping her arm under his to help him to his feet.

"Hey dude, just hold on. I'm gonna take you to Rose, and she can help you, okay?"

"Actually," Greg rasped, "can you just call a doctor or somethi- Woah!"

She had picked him up, suddenly hoisting him over her head as easily as she had lifted the dumpster. Greg winced as she bounded toward the beach, bouncing him along in her arms. The two of them quickly approached the hill at the end of the shoreline, under which was a gigantic statue of a beautiful woman with multiple pairs of arms. Just above her lap was a cave, and Amethyst took him right into it, only stopping once she reached a large stone platform at its center.

A wall of light encircled the two of them, and before Greg could process what was happening, they were no longer in the cave, but at the top of a tall mountain, overlooking an entire snowy range. The wind whistled around them, and the night sky was clear above. "ROSE?" Amethyst called out loudly. None but echoes of her own voice answered back. "Darn, maybe she's at the fountain or something." The wall of light was back, and suddenly the atmosphere was much warmer, greener, and brighter. Greg's eyes took a moment to adjust to the change in sunlight. "Rose?!" Amethyst called out again.

"Over here!" a familiar voice answered back.

Amethyst rushed right through an ornate, flowering topiary. Greg choked back a scream as he was snagged and suspended in its thorny branches.

"Oops, sorry!" she yelped, reaching up to try and pull him out, ensnaring him even more in the process.

"Amethyst, what are you doing?" Greg opened his eyes to see Rose reaching for him as well. He flinched, but as her hands reached him, the branches around him seemed to slowly peel away, allowing her to pull him gently from their thorny grip. "What happened?" she asked softly. Greg wasn't sure if that question was directed at him or at Amethyst, but he could hardly muster the strength to answer with his teeth clenched as tight as they were.

"I was at the donut shop and then there was this monster, right?" Amethyst began to explain. Rose carried him slowly over to a flower-covered stone fountain and sat down on the edge of it, with Greg in her lap. "And I went at it with my whip, but it threw me and I got poofed, but then I guess Greg saved me, and got hit by it while I was out. That thing spit out some nasty stuff. I think it melted the sidewalk. It's definitely melting Greg right now."

Greg looked up to find Rose tearing up. "Hey, it's not that bad," he assured her, softly. It in fact, was very bad. Half of his back had gone numb, and the other was in immense, throbbing pain. But all he needed was a trip to the ER and he'd be right as rain!

Rose smiled back and reached up with one hand to wipe away the tears before they could fall down her cheek. She gently placed that same hand on his shoulder. Greg winced, but the agony he anticipated didn't come. Instead, he started to feel... better! With each breath, the pain he was feeling ebbed away until it was gone completely. He sat up straight and reached behind himself to assess the damage. He could feel only shreds of the back of his shirt, and there was some scarring on the skin itself that was a little stiff, but overall he felt way better than he had just a moment ago.

"Whaaaaaaat?"

"Better?" Rose asked gently, as if she didn't already know.

"Y-yeah, thank you."

"Thanks, Rose!" Amethyst yelled, rushing up to hug both her and Greg in one motion.

"Thank you for saving Amethyst," she countered. She lovingly stroked Amethyst's head with one hand, holding Greg steady with the other. After a moment, she let him climb down and sit on the edge of the fountain beside her. For a few moments, he basked in the quiet and softness around them, letting his body relax again. All around them were strange, winding plants covered in soft pink flowers. A breeze rolled by, ruffling petals and scattering a sweet scent into the air. Other than the leaves rustling and Greg's slow, deep breaths, the only sound that could be heard was Amethyst happily humming as she snuggled up under Rose's arm.

"What... are you?" Greg asked, finally breaking the silence. He stared up at Rose, who eventually turned to meet his stare with her own. He felt bad for asking, but between the glowing and the weapons and fighting monsters and healing powers? Something wasn't normal.

"We're gems," Rose said simply, calmly, as if that answered what he was really asking.

"Say I wanted to learn more about gems," he chanced, "what source of knowledge could I tap for that?"

Rose tilted her head, thinking for a moment. "Well, I don't think there actually is that much information about us here on Earth," she admitted. "But maybe you could ask Garnet or Pearl."

"Not you?"

"There are things I could tell you, and things I'd rather not say."

Greg glanced to Amethyst, who refused to meet his gaze.

"What about those monsters?" he asked, against his better judgement. He thought back to when the dog monster had disappeared, leaving nothing but a stone behind. It was oddly similar to what happened to Amethyst only a short while ago. "Are they gems too?"

Neither Rose nor Amethyst responded.

Greg let a few more minutes pass by in silence, wishing he hadn't pried. He stared down at his shirt. Oh.

"I LEFT THE BIG DONUT UNATTENDED!" he realized suddenly.

Amethyst shrugged. "I can take you back whenever. Don't worry."

"Can I go back _now_?!"

"Eh, I guess." She hopped to her feet and shuffled back the way they came, this time stepping around the topiary.

"Thank you. And-" He turned back to Rose. "Thank you for healing me?"

"Any time," Rose replied with a smile. She waved them goodbye.

Amethyst led him back to the stone platform, and the wall of light surrounded them again. Suddenly they were back in Beach City, in the late afternoon where they had left.

"Hey," Greg said, now that they weren't within earshot of Rose. "I hope I didn't touch a nerve or anything with all the questions earlier. I'm sorry."

"Pssh. Don't worry about it," Amethyst reassured him. "Yeah those guys used to be gems, but they're not any more. It's complicated and Rose just doesn't like talking about it. Who can blame her, though?"

"They _used to_ be gems?"

"Like I said, it's complicated. Try not to get spit on next time, okay?" She thumped him roughly on the back.

"Ow. Okay. Thank you."

Greg rushed back to the shop, expecting mayhem. Luckily, between the rampaging gem monster and the fact that Beach City had a small population, the store was exactly as he'd left it. He sighed in relief, slumping back into his seat behind the counter. His boss wasn't going to be happy about what happened to his shirt, but at least the shop itself was alright. The rest of the day flew by without him while his mind was elsewhere.

He made his way back to Vidalia's house late that evening, after closing up. She wasn't home when he got there, so he sat on the couch with his guitar.

It had been three months since he'd written any music, but that night something sparked for him. He strummed softly, testing out new melodies until he could no longer keep his eyes open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, NEXT chapter we meet Jasper. Sorry I couldn't do it in this one, but certain steps have to happen to get her to Earth and those steps are green and shaped like a chip.


	4. Don't Blow It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhgggg I'm sorry i've been busy with work and things that are not work and i didn't mean to take more than two weeks to upate BUT GOOD NEWS  
> i've realized i need a set schedule in order to update consistently SO from now on, I should have a new chapter ready on Saturdays!  
> Thank you for your patience!

When things began to shift, Greg was completely unaware. He woke up early that morning, and headed to the beach to strum his guitar and write some new songs. He sat with his butt planted in the warm sand of the dunes, with his notebook next to him, covered in scribbles and ideas for lyrics. He had started making it a routine, coming to the north shore of the beach in the morning before he went to work, to sing to the sunrise.

One such morning, he had a visitor. A small round creature came waddling down to the beach towards him, its three legs clicking along. Greg spotted it from down the shore, the sun glinting on the pale green metal surface. Greg ignored it, strumming loudly as it came his way. When it was right in front of him, it stopped its mechanical waddle and spun towards him. He studied its featureless form while he played. Once he finished with his song, the creature turned away and kept waddling. Greg realized it was heading toward the gem temple, and decided to follow it. He picked up his guitar, slid his notebook into his back pocket, and made his way after the little round thing.

He followed it all the way down to the edge of the beach, and sure enough, it wobbled its way straight into the cave at the base of the temple. Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet were all lounging around the cave. Garnet lifted up her foot as the creature passed by, and stepped gently on top of it, halting it in place.

"Heeeey, another one!" Amethyst called out. "Garnet, can I smash it?"

"No." Garnet answered curtly.

Greg stooped down until he was nearly level with the tiny thing.

"Hey gals, what's going on?" he asked casually. "This thing yours?"

"No," said Pearl, "these things have been swarming all over the tri-state area these past few days." She pulled the spear from her head. "I've got this one, Garnet."

"Nah." Garnet answered. She released her foot's hold on the robot and nudged it slowly towards Greg. " _He's_ got this one."

"You sure it's not dangerous?" he asked, scooping it up anyway. The little thing was heavier than it looked, and it squirmed in his arms.

"Not really."

"What is it?" he asked, readjusting so he could hold it firmly. He watched Pearl and Amethyst put away their weapons.

"No idea. Maybe you can figure it out."

"Me?"

"You've got this." She gave him an assuring thumbs up.

He looked down towards the creature, and saw his face reflected in the shiny metallic surface. "Do I uh, have to smash it?"

"No," said Pearl, "Just keep it away from the temple. "

"I can take it home?"

"Sure."

"Cool, I'll uh. I'll go do that. C'mon little guy."

                                                                                                   --------------------------------------  
"Yeah you can't keep that here," Vidalia told him immediately when he brought it into her house.

"Aww c'mon. The gems gave it to me. They were gonna smash it if I didn't bring it with me."

She scowled at it. It kicked its legs in the air happily as Greg turned it over in his arms.

" _Vidalia, let Gregory keep me and look after me as he would an abandoned human child_ ," he pleaded in falsetto.

"In your van, maybe. This house is a no pets house. Also what???!!! If you ever find an abandoned child, you need take them to the police station!!?? I shouldn't have to tell you that, you should know."

Greg pouted his lower lip. "Yeah, sure. C'mon, Smoothie. You're gonna live with me in my van!"

"Don't name it Smoothie."

"Can't hear you! I'm off to teach Smoothie how to play guitar!"

* * *

 

"You requested my presence, my diamond?"

Yellow Diamond's eyes barely flicked in Jasper's direction. "Yes, come in, I have use for you." Jasper stepped through the door, past Yellow's pearl, who ushered her in with a bow before skipping back to her owner's side.

She waited in silence. Things around here ran on Yellow's timing, and according to Yellow's; own sense of priority. Jasper could tell that whatever business her diamond called her in for wasn't all that pressing, and that put Jasper's mind at ease. She used this time to observe the room around her. It wasn't often in her life that she had actually been in Yellow Diamond's presence.

Yellow's foot tapped against the floor restlessly as she perused through the data before her. Eight holo screens were open, showing a map of the galaxy, a list of ships, mineral structures, and various other boring information that Jasper was grateful she never had to read through. By the looks of it, she guessed things were coming together for a new colony. After several more minutes, Yellow finally flicked away most of the screens, leaving only one up before her. She pulled up a diagram of a planet with something near its center.

"You're familiar with this planet, Earth, correct?" she asked, turning her attention to Jasper at last.

Jasper's posture, having relaxed the slightest amount while she waited, went rigid as she gave her diamond a practiced salute. "Yes, my diamond," she answered quickly.

How could she ever forget Earth? Earth was the planet where she was made, where she emerged from the ground to a battle already in progress. Where she fought for years against traitorous gems and other inferior lifeforms, only to watch her diamond- Pink Diamond- fall at the hands of a disgusting, selfish rebel.

Centuries had passed, and no one ever talked about Earth anymore. Even Pink Diamond herself was seldom mentioned. Yellow was her diamond now, and Jasper served her with pride and respect. But she had been made for Pink, and she would never be able to forget that, no matter how much Yellow tried to force those events out of history.

"Good," Yellow said curtly, not privy to Jasper's wandering thoughts, "The planet's warp pads have been damaged, and all recent attempts to surveil have been met with... resistance. Drones are being demolished almost as quickly as we can get them there."

Jasper found that strange. As far as she knew, lifeforms on Earth were still pretty primitive. How could they destroy modern gem tech so easily? And why even bother?

"I'm sending one of my peridot's down to fix the warp pad manually. Please accompany her and make sure she doesn't run into any more obstacles. I'll have a hand ship ready for you in ten minutes' time, at dock 37X5. Dismissed."

"Yes, my Diamond," Jasper said with a salute before turning back the way she came. She had questions, so many questions, but taking up Yellow Diamond's precious time was like getting on your knees and begging to be punished. She walked briskly to the nearest elevator pod and set her course in the controls for the docks as instructed. If she was lucky, the peridot she was going to be protecting would have answers about what exactly Yellow Diamond wanted from that old, war-torn planet.

"Greetings!" The peridot was already at the ship, waiting for her. "You must be the Jasper that got assigned to be my assistant on this mission."

Jasper bristled at the peridot's assumption. "Assistant? I'll be protecting you from the locals."

Peridot shrugged. "Same thing." She said, brandishing her strange mechanical hands. She paused a moment, looking Jasper over. "Oh, you're an earth-made gem! I'm sure your familiarity with the planet will work in our favor. This mission is going to be so easy!" she squealed.

"How can you tell I was made there?"

"Well, obviously a jasper with asymmetrical and irregular red-orange striations such as yours would HAVE to have come from Earth. Clostrum-made jaspers have uniform, diagonal striations, and era-two jaspers are all either dappled or monochrome. Of course there are also some varieties that are _only_ found on earth-"

"Interesting." Jasper rolled her eyes and passed by the peridot while she rambled, and into the ship. She assumed the peridot she was guarding was a simple technician, but this one was actually a kindergarten specialist. That made Jasper a bit uneasy. The diamonds were sending a kindergartener to Earth to make repairs. Not _to_ the kindergarten though, right? Honestly, she didn't care how scarce resources were getting, restarting the kindergartens on that waste of a planet would be a terrible and stupid idea for so many reasons. "Hey, Peridot," she growled, finally cutting the green gem's rambling short. "What exactly is this mission about?"

Peridot quickly formed a holo screen with her fingers, displaying the same diagram Yellow Diamond had shown earlier: an illustration of the inside of the earth, with something large and misshapen near its center. "The planet's being used as an incubator for an experimental geo-weapon called the Cluster," she explained. "I'm supposed to check on it's progress, but all of the drones I've sent down have ended up damaged or destroyed. It's. Very. Frustrating. So all we have to do is check on the Cluster, repair the warp pads, and return to Homeworld. Like I said, easy!"

"Easy," Jasper repeated "except we'll have to deal with whatever life form has been destroying your equipment."

"Yes, except for that." Peridot hummed in thought. "I hope whatever creature it is isn't what destroyed the Red Eye a while back."

"Wait, what?"

"The Red Eye," Peridot said.

Nothing on Earth should have been able to destroy surveillance equipment as big and sturdy as that. "You sure it wasn't hit by a meteor on its way into orbit?" Jasper asked.

"I suppose that's possible, but since it wasn't actively transmitting at the time of its destruction, it's difficult to say."

"Ugh. If we find it, you should see if you can fix it. Those things are important."

"I'll add it to my long list of repairs for this mission."

"Great." Jasper sighed, leaning against the wall of the corridor they were in, while Peridot continued on towards the cockpit. "Say, you can pilot this ship on your own, right?"

"Of course." Peridot puffed up her chest proudly. "I only requested accompaniment from you for the sake of protection. I know how to control a simple hand ship."

"Great. I'll be in the back, near the holding cells. Come wake me once we get close enough to see Earth."

"What? Wake you?! Don't tell me you're going to be lounging around back there _sleeping_ for the whole trip!"

Jasper waved her off as she turned away. "You'll be fine," she mumbled.

By the time she was at the end of the hall, she could barely hear Peridot loudly groan something about 'stupid Earth clods'.

As she settled in with her back to the wall, she couldn't help but think that maybe it was an Earth-gem thing. There was basically never an occasion where any normal gem _needed_ to sleep. Yet almost all of the other gems (especially quartz gems) that she knew were from Earth probably spent at least some of their free-time sleeping. Jasper herself never saw a problem with it. It was a simple, relaxing way to pass the time. And if they weren't on duty, there was literally no harm being done. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.

The best part about sleeping was that it would leave no more time for the unease in her to keep building as they approached their destination. There was no use worrying about something she didn't have any say in. She would wake, complete her mission, and be back on Homeworld in no time, just like Peridot said.

Easy.

 


	5. On My Way Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear at some point I'm gonna have to go back through this thing and pick out better chapter titles, but every time i try to post the chapter itself my mind goes blank =}

"Heyyy, Marty. It's Greg."

"Starchild! I haven't heard from you in a solid two weeks, bud. I was getting ready to call the cops! What's up, man?"

Greg's stomach twisted and he gripped the phone receiver so hard the plastic was leaving an indent in his palm. "Hey, haha, yeah. Listen, Marty, I need to talk to you. "

"You are talking to me, pal." Marty's voice barely carried over the sound of traffic, of people talking as they passed. Somewhere in the background, a small dog's yipping and snapping grew loud, then quiet as Marty passed. "What's going on? You still stuck in that podunk town with no ride?"

"Well, I wouldn't say 'stuck', exactly. Greg peaked his head out from behind the wall. Vidalia and Amethyst were in the next room, eating chips and pointedly not looking at him, as if he wouldn't know they were listening in. "I uh. I think I'm gonna stay here for the... forseeable future, though. You know, just kind of chill out until I get my head back where it needs to be. Might take a while-"

A car horn cut him off, far too close and too loud "DAMN, MAN! WATCH IT!" Marty screamed before Greg could get the phone away from his ear. "Jeez. Ok sorry, what were you saying? something about a chill?"

"Marty, I wanna quit."

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN-”

“I mean this whole music thing. The ‘Mr. Universe” schtick,” he pressed on, before Marty could get another loud word in. “I thought it was my scene, my kind of business, but I was wrong. And I know what you’re gonna say; you put a lot into this and so did I. But sometimes a loss is a loss, man. Well, I mean it’s not a total loss. You’re in Empire City! I’m sure there are a ton of..” impressionable, delusional, naive, “... talented young musicians who would kill for a chance to work with you. Just gotta refine that pitch, yeah?”

Marty gurgled out his frustration, a strangled cry warbled through the phone speaker. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No, dude.” Greg said, with as much professionalism as he could muster. “I mean this. I’ve already found a job here and everything.”

“Starchild, you have got to have the worst fucking timing on this planet! I literally just booked you a gig at the Storm Cathedral at the end of next month, and you immediately call me to tell me you’re backing out?!”

Greg’s heart skipped a beat. The Storm Cathedral? It had been his dream to even set foot in there, let alone to actually perform from the pulpit. The Cathedral was the birthplace of the entire music scene on the East coast. All of his favorite musicians had performed there, from famous opera singer Carol Capsicana to the feared and revered punk group Time Fluox. Rumor had it that the fire marshal once fought off an army of Time Fluox fans who were trying to get in to see the show even though the building was at capacity. Also, the accoustics were incredible.

“I played your CD for the owners, they liked it, and they want you to open for some Swedish disco group that nobody cares about.”

“Really?!”

“Okay, no. The disco group is pretty popular overseas. I don’t care about them.”

“Marty, the Cathedral?!”

“I told you, I got big plans for you, Starchild. But if you just back out now, I don’t think you’re gonna get a second chance with these guys. This is the big leagues, man. This is your shot.”

“But I...” Greg looked out the kitchen window. The sun had set over beach city, and a cool breeze swept through the trees. The buildings here didn’t tower over him, he wasn’t surrounded by a thousand shining lights, but this place felt more like home already than his own hometown had. Still, Marty was right. This could be his one chance to actually perform for a real audience. He bit his lip. “Okay. Okay, fine. I’ll come up to the city in a few weeks, and we’ll do this.”

“Oh thank god.”

“But Marty, if this goes horribly, I think that’ll be my sign that I’m out for good, okay? I really mean it.”

“Of course you do!”

“I’ll call you before I head up. Or you can reach me at this number, probably. It’s Vidalia’s home phone, but we see each other a lot, so-”

Marty let out a lascivious chuckle. His voice was suddenly so slimy Greg almost gagged listening to it. “Oh? You seein’ a lot of her too, huh? Greg, man. I didn’t think you were into sloppy seconds.”

“Woah! Nuh-uh. It’s not like that, dude.”

“Suuuure it isn’t.”

“Okay, bye Marty! Bye!” Greg put the receiver down with a heavy sigh of relief. Most days, he kind of wished his manager was someone who wasn’t such a sleazebag. With business concluded, he plucked a can of soda out of the fridge and went back out to the living room to join the girls. “Hey, sorry that took so long,” he said, flopping onto the floor by the couch.

Vidala was actually filing her nails in a manner that Greg decided was a little bit too aloof for her not to be faking it. Amethyst was busy trying to stack things on top of Smoothie. The smooth, round surface of Smoothies... head? Body? was making the task more difficult than it needed to be.

“So, did you quit?” Vidalia asked flatly, barely looking up from her fingers.

Greg grimaced. “Nnnnot exactly?”

“Dude.”

“Vidalia, he got me a gig at the Storm Cathedral. I can’t say no to that.”

She groaned. “I get it. The Cathedral is wicked, and you better score me some tickets if you’re actually gonna play there. But you’ve gotta decide what you want in life, man! Else you’ll be stuck flip-flopping between Beach City and a real city forever, like my stupid parents.”

“I told him I was out after the concert, sorta. But you can’t blame me for at least wanting to see what it’s like.”

“True, I can’t. Make sure you can get that time off of work, or else you’ll be out of two jobs after the concert.”

“Yeah, I better.” He beckoned Smoothie over to him, and the robot waddled over eagerly, toppling the entire three foot tower of junk Amethyst had been constructing for the last four minutes. “Hey, how about we get this Yahtzee thing going eh?”

“Yeah, finally!” Amethyst whooped. “I’ve been waiting like an hour already!”

“You’ve been waiting ten minutes,” Vidalia corrected, “and you already ate the dice, which means we can’t actually play.”

“She what?!”

“Pfft.” Amethyst folded her arms and flipped her hair out of her face indignantly. “You never said not to eat the dice.”

Vidalia smiled and sprawled back onto the couch, taking up the rest of the space. “I guess I wanted to see if you actually would. And you did.”

“So then I win?”

“No!” said Greg. “You don’t win at yahtzee by eating the dice. C’mon, gals, I was actually looking forward to playing this. Vidalia, do you have any more dice lying around?”

She shrugged. “Not unless you wanna check in the attic.”

“I do!” Amethyst piped up.

“Arlight then. Greg, come on up with us. It’s dark up there.”

“No way!” He shivered. “Forget the dice. I am not meeting my doom in a dark attic tonight.”

“Nah, c’mon,” she insisted, “there’s a window up there that leads out onto the roof. Bring your guitar and we can make an adventure out of it. “  
He groaned as he picked up his guitar and he groaned all the way up the stairs, up the ladder, and into the attic himself, following closely behind a bouncing Amethyst and a brave but foolish Vidalia, apparently neither of which had ever seen any horror film, ever.

Vidalia pulled the bead chain that switched on the room’s sole source of light: a dim, flickering lightbulb that probably hadn’t been replaced in twenty years. Greg felt a chill run down his spine, searching the piles of junk and scattered boxes strewn about for any signs of unnatural movement. “Alright, Amethyst, go nuts,” she said, gesturing to the room around her. “The extra dice are probably in a little red box around here somewhere. Just don’t eat anything without asking me first. Greg? Window’s this way.” She led him over to the edge of the room and pulled aside a pair of dark curtains, exposing a large window that stared out into the low light of the evening.

With a bit of effort, she popped the lock and pushed the window open, before slipping out, motioning for Greg to follow. He climbed carefully out onto the roof, following her over to the gable as well as he could with a guitar in one arm and no shoes on. Finally, when he was sure he wasn’t going to fall, he sat back and looked around.

Beach City was sprawled out below him. Sporadic residential lights flickered through gaps in swaying leaves, and the scent of the ocean and freshly-mowed grass was all around him. He smiled and waved to the family across the street who were enjoying an evening out on the lawn, grilling up something that smelled delicious. Vidalia nudged him and motioned to his guitar.

“I know you’ve been working on some new stuff,” she said quietly, “why don’t you play for a real audience?” She motioned to the family below, and further down the block, a group of teens walking down the road.

Greg smiled, closed his eyes, and strummed out the chords to the song he’d been working on, humming the melody. He wasn’t sure of the lyrics yet, but he’d figure them out at some point. The song was wistful, longing, and the teens passing by stopped just short of Vidalia’s yard to listen to him play.

Even without his stage equipment, he knew how to make the sound of his old guitar carry. Anyone on the block with their windows open for the cool air was bound to hear him, but he wasn’t worried. Even Amethyst had stopped rooting around in Vidalia’s attic and had poked her head out the window for a better vantage point to the impromptu performance. Greg smiled and leaned his head back further, opening his eyes to the evening sky. For a moment, it felt as if he were serenading the stars.

And then he noticed something out of place.

His fingers slowed to a halt, settling on a soft, sour note that the audience of passersby didn’t seem to notice. The end of his song was met with soft applause, and even a few cheers, but Greg’s attention had been pulled elsewhere.

“Greg?” He pointed upward at the strange green glare above them. “Woah, what is that?” she asked following his gaze.

Amethyst gasped in awe. “Oh gnarly! It almost looks like one of those space ships that... oh crud.”

“Space ships?” Greg asked, “Like, from space for space travel space ships?”

Vidalia squinted at him “What other kinds of space ships are there, you dork?”

Within a moment, Amethyst had transformed into some caricature of an owl. There was a murmur below, as the other people on the block wavered between staring at the ship above and staring at her.

“I gotta go. You guys might wanna get to safety,” she warned, “something in my gut tells me this thing is bad news.”

“You sure? Could be all those dice you ate,” Vidalia quipped. Amethyst ignored her and swooped off, flying toward the temple on the beach. “What’s gotten into her?” she asked once their gem friend was gone.

“I don’t know,” he lied. If this thing was anything like the red eye he had seen Pearl take down, then it shouldn’t be too much trouble on its own. But thinking back, the debris from the eye had caused quite a bit of damage just by falling to earth. “But we probably don’t want to be nearby when that thing comes down.”

* * *

 

“Jasper!” Peridot’s shrill voice carried almost too well down the halls of the ship. That, or Jasper just really didn’t feel like waking up. Probably the latter. “Jasper we’re almost there! Earth is in view.”

That woke her up. “I’ll be right there!” she called back, stretching and brushing her hair out of her face, away from her gem. She groaned and made her way down to the cockpit, where Peridot sat staring at the ships navigation view. Something inside her stirred when she saw that familiar blue planet before her, closer than it had been in eons. She closed her eyes and thought of the sound the sandstone made when it gave way to her form, and the heat of the golden sun as it’s light landed upon her. Her first memory of earth had been so pleasant, so different from literally every other memory of the planet that followed. The rebellion, centuries of war, millenia of a restless peace that never felt peaceful.

“Are you ready to land?” Peridot asked her.

Jasper’s mouth curled into a smile. “I came out of the ground ready,” she said with a chuckle. She ignored Peridot’s eyes rolling at her cocky remark.

“Good, because our sensors are detecting the presence of gems on this planet, not far from where we’re due to land. And according to my sources, all gem lifeforms on earth were removed or destroyed several centuries ago. So we may have a problem on our hands.”

* * *

 

Greg should have been on his way out of town with everyone else when he heard the wailing sirens going off. He should have been in his van, driving out towards the countryside with Vidalia when he saw that the approaching object in the sky was in fact a very large space ship shaped like a giant green hand. He should not have given his keys to Vidalia, wished her luck, and let her drive off down the highway while he made his way over to the temple at the end of the beach, with his new robot friend in tow.

But that’s what he did, in fact, do.

The ship was loud, humming ceaselessly as it lowered itself onto the shore of beach city. It was loud and it had a strange staticy pull to its mass that made Greg’s hair stand on end. His every instinct for survival told him to get away from the landing space, to take shelter outside of town where he would be safe from flying debris and the crashing of humongous waves.

But he just had to see it up close. So he hid behind a large stone hand jutting out of the sand, not far from the temple. He peaked out through the fingers, holding Smoothie tightly in his arms so they wouldn’t wander off and get damaged.

He realized this could be his greatest chance for answers. Was the ship connected to the crystal gems? It had to be. Maybe it was coming back to take them to their home planet, or coming to pick up the monsters they’d been fighting. Worst case scenario, he thought, it could be a cargo ship carrying more monsters to terrorize the town. His mind was abuzz with possibilities when he heard the crystal gems shouting from the shore.

His attention turned to the ship itself, and he watched as a door panel opened on the palm, an two imposing sillhouettes emerged through the opening.

As he laid eyes upon them, Greg immediately knew- at least one of these people was definitely an alien.


	6. Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hgg sorry this is late, I fell asleep at a weird time yesterday and slept for twelve hours.

Jasper and Peridot stepped out as the dust and sea foam settled around their ship. When the sensors had picked up signs of gem life, she hadn't been sure what to expect, but it sure wasn't this.

The diamonds were not perfect; they made mistakes from time to time. Though, only an idiot would ever admit that in their presence. The decision to blast Earth with every ounce of power they could muster, in order to wipe all gem life off the planet? That was a brilliant move! That stopped the war from following them back to Homeworld when they and their forces retreated. Of course, it was possible that a handful of gems might slip by unscathed. But the idea that one of those few would be Rose Quartz, the rebel leader herself, was ridiculous.

And yet, there she stood, with a band of traitorous off-colors, facing Jasper's arrival on the shore head-on.

"I don't believe it," Jasper growled, "In all my years I never thought I'd see you face to face, Rose Qua-"

"Please identify yourselves with your gem type and facet number!" Peridot called out, cutting her off. She had pulled a screen up from her fingertips and was ready to take down their information. Clearly she had no idea who she was dealing with.

Jasper grabbed her by the shoulder and whispered urgently. "Peridot, you idiot. Those gems are traitors to Homeworld."

Peridot took a moment to consider this. "All the more reason for each of them to identify themselves!" she decided, before turning back to the gems on the beach. "Well?"

Rose stepped in front of the group, sword and shield in hand. "I am Rose Quartz," she stated loudly, "and you are not welcome on this planet."

The pearl next to her also stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Rose's "And I'm-"

"Hold on a moment! Which rose quartz are you?"

"I- I beg your pardon?"

Jasper leaned back against the ship's doorway. _Sure, ask an armed rebel gem for her identification, that'll go well_ , she thought.

"All but seventeen rose quartz gems have been bubbled and accounted for," Peridot explained, scrolling through some sort of list, "Three of them were personally shattered by Yellow Diamond... so that means there are fourteen rose quartz gems unaccounted for." She looked up from her screen. "Which one are you?"

"Wait, what is she asking?" a shrunken amethyst asked from the back of the group. Rose Quartz and her pearl exchanged worried glances. This was hilarious.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten your facet number," said Peridot, "I know this planet hasn't had direct contact with Homeworld for several millennia, but even so, you should be able to identify yourself."

An unnatural fusion stepped forward to the front of the group. "We don't need to identify ourselves to the likes of you!" it growled, forming a pair of spiked gloves on its hands.

It seemed none of these traitors could handle a civil discussion. Jasper stepped forward and placed her hand on Peridot's shoulder, stopping whatever asinine question that was about to come out of her mouth. "You're right," she said with a grin, "I don't need to know who any of you are to break you into rubble."

She concentrated her energy only briefly and her battering helmet formed easily over her head. "It's time to pay for what you've done, Rose Quartz."

"Wait, hey!" a new voice called out. "Smoothie, stop!" Jasper turned her attention briefly to the source of the racket. A human was being dragged across the sand, toward the ship, by a repair bot. And here Jasper thought she had seen everything.

"One of my robonoids!" Peridot gasped.

Jasper rolled her eyes. "Like I was saying," she continued, ignoring the human spectacle below, "It's time pay. I'm sure the diamonds would love to hear that you're still in one piece, but they never will, because I'm going to grind you to dust myself!"

But Rose Quartz wasn't listening to her. She had turned her attention completely to the human on the ground. "Greg, what are you doing here? You were supposed to evacuate!" she said.

"Rose Quartz!" Jasper growled, raising her volume, "How dare you ignore me?!" She jumped down to the beach and scruffed the human by its quartz-like hair, separating it from the robonoid, which scuttled eagerly toward the ship. "This thing should not matter to you more than what I am saying." She insisted, thrusting it above her head with ease.

"Oh my gosh, you guys!" the human whimpered. Jasper looked up to its face for a moment, relishing in the fear from its eyes before dropping it to the sand. The creature immediately scurried away, to her relief and the relief of every gem on the beach. Earth creatures had no business in gem matters.

"And what are you saying, Jasper?" Rose asked indignantly.

"Yeah, what are you saying, Jasper?" Peridot prodded. Jasper made a note to have a little talk with her later about all the insubordination she was displaying, but that could wait.

"I'm saying that it's time to face justice for what you've done. You shattered my diamond, and I won't let that stand!"

"You're here to avenge _Pink Diamond_?" Rose Quartz asked, taking a defensive stance with her sword. She looked back towards the other gems behind her. "I've got this. You all stand out of the way." She turned back to Jasper. "Why do you care about Pink Diamond!?"

"We're here to check on the cluster, actually!" Peridot corrected. Not that she needed to, and again her input was distracting from what Jasper was trying to say.

"I care because I was _made_ for her. She was _my_ diamond, you stupid clump of dirt!"

"She was a selfish, insufferable brat who was going to kill off this planet," the pink gem insisted. Jasper watched a cheeky smile spread across her face "Gem kind is better off without her, trust me."

It had been forever since Jasper had felt such rage fill her body. "You were designed by her personally!" she screamed, rushing forward. The front of her helmet made contact with the other quartz's shield, and the resulting vibration made her head ring, but she pushed on, using her weight to try and knock Rose Quartz off balance. Rose Quartz stumbled back. "She made you, and you repay her by breaking her?! What kind of defective monster _does_ that?!"

Rose said nothing, merely swinging her sword at Jasper in response. Jasper dodged the blade easily.

"And not just Pink Diamond," she continued, aiming another blow at her only to meet her shield again. "Millions of gems were broken because of your actions. Do you know what kind of toll all of this has had on Homeworld? On all of gemkind?"

"I stand by what I've done!" Jasper caught sight of tears forming in her eyes. So even she had a conscience, after all.

"You won't stand for anything once I'm done with you." Jasper rushed her again and caught the rim of Rose Quart'z shield with one hand, pulling it toward her. With her other hand, she pulled out a destablizer, and struck the other gem in the arm. Rose Quartz had no idea what hit her, and Jasper watched with glee as her form broke apart, splitting into segments of light and disappearing until all that was left was her stupid pink gem sitting in the sand.

Jasper smiled down at the gem triumphantly... until she got a good look at it. Gems with a unique cut were a rarity, like Jasper herself. One in every two-hundred thousand, maybe. But the size and shape of this particular gem in the sand before her... not to mention the color... It looked so much like Pink Diamond's gem that for a moment, she was startled into stillness.

In the next moment, she looked up to see Rose Quartz's pearl coming at her with that giant pink sword.

Then everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

"Jasper!" the little green alien called out. Greg was as shocked as she was. Within three seconds, Rose and one of the alien gems had vanished just like all those monsters, leaving only a gemstone behind. He watched, shaking, from back behind the stone hand as Pearl raced toward the green gem too. He winced, and in a blink, she was gone as well.

Garnet and Amethyst stepped forward to pick up the two gems near him, and he watched Garnet form a bubble around Jasper's gemstone, pulling it into the air, while Amethyst scooped up Rose's gemstone and held it close.

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Amethyst asked, a tone of worry clear in her voice.

Garnet leaned forward and looked over the stone. "Keep her safe," she said, "I think this jasper only managed to poof her. If she's not back within a few hours, we can take her to the fountain."

"Okay." Amethyst cradled the gem close to her chest as a child might hold a doll. Greg's heart ached watching it.

"Greg, I assume you have questions," Garnet said quietly, turning to face the hand behind which he was currently hidden.

Greg gasped and ducked down. "Haha nope! I didn't see a thing, and I would never tell a soul what happened if I had seen something! Hahaha!" He had seen enough crime shows in his time to know better than to snitch about a scene like this one. He walked cautiously around the large stone until he was face to face with the two of them, making sure to keep his own hands in the air.

"If you don't ask now, you're probably never going to get answers. I have a feeling we gems are going to be very busy from tonight onward."

"Oh, y-yeah? Well, I mean, in that case... "

"Three questions only."

He looked from Rose's gemstone to Jasper's, and then up to the green one still on the ship. Pearl had formed a bubble around that one, too, and as she tapped it, it disappeared. "What happened to these guys, and to Rose?"

"Their physical forms were destroyed. That happens sometimes. Rose will be back shortly." So it was like what happened to Amethyst outside the donut shop.

"What's with the uh... the bubbles?" he asked. "Why do you guys do that to the monsters and," he gulped, "the aliens?"

"Just to clarify," Garnet said flatly, "We're aliens, too."

"Hey! I'm not!" Amethyst piped up.

"Except Amethyst," Garnet corrected.

"Right uh, so. Why put a bubble on them, but not her? Is it like, handcuffs?"

"Close." She brought the bubble with Jasper's stone in it closer to Greg, and he took a step back. "The bubble keeps a gem from reforming. It can be used as a means of protection, or a punishment. In this case, it's the only thing keeping these gems from wreaking havoc on the planet."

Greg considered this silently.

"Your third and final question," Garnet prompted. Pearl was coming back over toward them now, looking dazed, dragging Rose's sword in the sand beside her. Closely behind her, Smoothie was scuttling along in the sand as well.

The question he wanted to ask was stuck in his throat. Did Rose really do all of those things that other gem said she did? Take the life of a pink diamond and millions of others? She had seemed so kind in the short time Greg knew her, and while he wasn't so naive to think that a kind person wasn't capable of doing anything bad, all of that seemed a little _extreme._ Regardless of whether it was true or not, Greg knew he didn't have the full story, and he couldn't think of any one question that would clarify everything.

"I can't think of anything else," He lied.

"Good," said Garnet. "Now, I'll tell you what you must do." She tapped the bubble floating above her hand and it disappeared instantly. He cursed himself for not asking what that was all about. "Go home, forget about what you saw, and the next time you're told to evacuate, listen. "

 

"Fine. Let me go get Smoothie, and I'll head home."

"No. That thing is a dangerous piece of Homeworld tech. It's best if it stays with us."

"What? You're the one who told me to keep it in the first place!"

"And I was wrong. Sorry about that." Smoothie finally came waddling up to them, and Greg watched in horror as Garnet bent down and- oh wait, she just put a bubble around it too, and then it was gone. Greg sighed in relief. "Now, go."

"Oh, is Greg leaving? Goodbye, Greg!" Pearl waved to him with her swordless hand. She still seemed a little dazed. "Is Rose back yet?" she asked, turning to Garnet.

"Not yet. A few more moments. I know you're worried, but she'll be fine. Get lost, Greg."

Greg huffed and marched away. This whole night had been crazy! "Later, Greg!" Amethyst called after him. "It was nice knowing you!" He ignored her and kept walking, stopping only when he saw a flash of light behind him.

"Rose!" Pearl called out. He turned and watched as Rose's gem hovered high in the air. A silhouette made of light formed around it, just like what he had seen with Amethyst. Ater a few more moments, Rose was back among them, looking slightly shaken, her hair and dress were a little different now, but she was still clearly herself. Greg smiled as Pearl jumped up and threw her arms around her girlfriend. "I was so worried! I'm glad you're okay!"

"Oof! It's good to be back!" Rose said. "How long was I out?"

"Just a few minutes," Garnet told her.

Greg walked away until he couldn't hear them anymore.

* * *

 

Vidalia woke him up the next morning by slamming the door and yelling excitedly about how surprised she was that he was still alive. She, of course, demanded to know everything that had happened to Greg and Beach City the previous night, so he told her everything he knew. He told her what he didn't know, as well, bringing up the accusations that one buff gem had brought up against Rose. And that the Crystal Gems had taken Smoothie away, claiming it was dangerous alien tech.

"And you brought it into my house!" she exclaimed, swatting him on the shoulder. Greg argued that Smoothie had never actually _done_ anything dangerous, and that was the important thing. She rolled her eyes and told him to go to work. Sure enough, it was about that time.

He walked to work slowly, glancing at the nearly empty town around him. Most of the residents of Beach city had fled the night before when the space ship had come into view. Now everyone was slowly trickling back into town. Greg wondered how Garnet had expected him to tell everyone to just leave town. This was their home. His home now, too. If the worst came, maybe an evacuation order would be necessary. But for the moment, things were still peaceful. He unlocked the door to the big donut and started setting up for the day.

The person who was supposed to take over the evening shift called to say they were still out of town, so Greg was stuck there until closing time. Staying there all day was totally worth the six customers that showed up, he thought. Just before closing time, Amethyst popped in.

"Hey, Greg! I'm surprised you're still in town! Surprised anyone's in town, really."

He slumped up against the counter. "I don't know what you expected, someone's gotta run this place."

"I guess. Hey, can I get one of those chocolate ones?"

"Sure." he wrapped it in paper and handed it to her, watching in disgust as she tossed both donut and paper into her mouth. "So, what's new?"

"Ugh, the other gems are preparing for war. It sucks."

"War?"

"Yeah, except it's more boring than I thought it'd be. Now Garnet and Pearl have gone to talk to Bismuth, and since Rose can't go over there, it's just me and her, and between you and me, she's been a little weird since last night. So basically it's just me."

Greg's head spun as he tried to take all that in. "Who's Bismuth?"

"An old member of the Crystal Gems. She doesn't like Rose much, so she lives out on an island now."

 _There are more of them?_ he wondered. "Seems that orange gem from last night isn't the only one who doesn't like her, I guess."

"Yeah." Amethyst flopped down onto the floor, crossing her legs, and stared up at him. "Can I tell you something?"

"Go for it."

"I'm kind of disappointed. I finally got to meet another quartz, and she's a total Homeworld baddie. I was kind of hoping if I ever met one they'd be cooler, more like me."

Greg squinted. "Isn't Rose a Quartz? I mean it's right there in her name."

Amethyst shook her head. "Rose isn't really a quartz. She just looks like that and says she's one."

"Well then, what is she?" Greg grabbed a donut for himself out of the case, and another one for Amethyst.

"She's... a diamond."

"Oh?" he asked, with a mouthful of bavarian cream, "Like that pink one that Jasper lady was talking about last night?"

Amethyst bit her lip. "Like, the same Pink Diamond that Jasper was talking about last night."

"But she said Rose killed Pink Diamond. Or shattered her, or whatever."

"That's 'cuz she doesn't know. No one knows, just the other Crystal Gems here on Earth. And Rose always said it was better if no one knows the truth but... Now Garnet's saying Homeworld's bound to send more gems to earth, and Pearl's saying we can't handle another war. And Rose isn't saying anything, and it's all driving me nuts."

" _Do_ nuts?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah." Geez, the joke was bad, but that never stopped Amethyst from laughing before.

Greg rested his chin on his hand. "This all sounds pretty complex. Dude. Look, I've gotta close up in a little bit here. Why don't you just... take it from the top? Where did this all start?"


	7. Bubbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mkay, it's a fricken' BUSY time of year, and that's the only excuse i'll give lmaooooooo. I realize I didn't update last saturday, which is why I'll be updating TWICE this weekend. One kind of short chapter today, and one slightly longer one tomorrow.  
> Thank y'all for your patience!

"So yeah, I guess that's the gist of it. And here we are at the beach city temple, keeping watch for corrupted gems who suddenly wake up and decide to wreak havoc. And man, there've been a lot of them lately."

Greg wrung out his mop and surveyed the floor. His head was still spinning from the long, wild story Amethyst had spent the last two hours relaying to him. There were parts of the story where she seemed biased, and parts where he was sure he didn't have enough context to form his own opinion, but now he knew more about his own planet's history than he ever thought he would.

He also learned a lot about Amethyst herself. It came as a surprise that she wasn't actually a teenager, and while she was indeed younger than the other gems, it wasn't in the same sense Greg had originally thought. When he asked her why, if she was a fully grown gem, did she act like a kid, she told him that it didn't matter one lick how mature she acted, the other gems always saw her as inexperienced and uneducated, and that's how they treated her.

"Might as well play the part then, right?" she had said with a shrug. "At least I get to have fun."

Now her story was finished, and she was laying on the counter by the register, her head hanging over the edge, while she watched him push a mop around.

"So, Rose isn't your leader anymore, right?"

"Yeah, she's mostly a figurehead now. Garnet's in charge 'cuz she can tell when and where one of those monsters will show up."

"Because she can see the future?"

"Yup."

".... but she couldn't see that uhhhh Homeworld was going to send two gems and a lot of robots to Earth?"

Amethyst shrugged. "She can't really see what she's not looking for. I dunno what else to tell you, dude. Even Garnet doesn't know everything."

"Well, I wish she would have known Smoothie was some dangerous piece of alien hardware before she gave them to me. I got attached to the little guy."

"Me too," she said, drooping. "Wait a minute!" She sat up suddenly. "Homeworld tech or not, Smoothie never actually hurt anybody!"

"Yeah, I guess they didn't."

  
She threw her hands up into the air. "Well?! Isn't that like, wrongful imprisonment or something? She can't just lock him away when he's done nothing wrong?"

"She can't?"

"This is a democracy, man! You can't throw someone in jail because they _might_ commit a crime, right?"

Greg shrugged. "That's not really what a democracy means, but yeah. I follow you."

"Alright soooo," She hopped down from the counter. "So let's go get him back!"

Greg's heart fluttered with hope. "You know where she's keeping it?" he asked.

"Pfft yeah? Same place all the other bubbles go. To the temple!" She pointed emphatically toward the door and began to march forward.

"Wait, hold on! I gotta finish closing up!" Greg shouted after her.

* * *

  
She helped him finish cleaning, in exchange for all the leftover pastries that he would have otherwise thrown out. He accepted, though in all honestly his cleaning would have gone quicker had she not been trying to help. Once the store was locked up, he followed her to the gem temple. The towering stone woman whose figure rested against the cliff seemed all the more intimidating as the two of them got close. Greg swore he could feel her gaze traveling to watch the two of them, and it sent a shiver right through him.

Amethyst opened the door and led him inside. The room ahead was lit with an eerie red glow, and the air around them was stiflingly warm. Greg realized quickly that both of these things could be attributed to a pool of lava smack in the center of the room. He had never seen lava up close. It glowed bright enough to hurt his eyes when he stared at its swirling, bubbing surface. And yet, he was only able to tear his gaze away when Amethyst nudged him with her elbow. She looked over at him and pointed upward, and Greg drew in a sharp breath as he took in the most fantastical detail of the room.

Hundreds of bubbles floated above them, some of them big enough to fit a large dog inside them, some smaller than his head. Most of them held gems at their center. The facets of those gems reflected the light of the lava below them, giving the effect of a hundred orange twinkling stars. The sight took Greg's breath away, and if he hadn't known that each of those stones used to be a person, he would have easily found it beautiful.

"Hey look! There's Smoothie!" Amethyst whispered. Greg saw it too, a bubble near the top of the room that held his beloved robot friend. Just as he wondered how they were going to get it down, the bubble started to sink toward them.

"That's it, come to Papa," She whispered. Greg shrugged. He wondered if maybe he should stop questioning gem magic altogether.

He smiled as the bubble came closer. In a moment or two, he'd have his little buddy back. And this time, Garnet'd have to pry it from his cold, dead fingers.

"What are you two doing in here?" a voice asked from behind them.

Amethyst shrieked, and Greg's heart skipped a beat. He should have been expecting something like this. He and Amethyst both turned quickly around to find Rose standing behind them. Though the expression on her face was stern, she looked more sad than angry. Greg thought for a moment that she looked like she'd been crying.

"W-uh we were just-" he stumbled over his words. "Amethyst was just ummm, telling me all about gem history?" He gave her a hopeful smile. If his charm couldn't get him out of a situation like this, then what good was it?

He quickly glanced to Amethyst, hoping she'd corroborate his excuse. But she didn't seem remotely worried compared to him. "What he said," she replied. "What are _you_ doing with _that_?" Her gaze was locked on the little bubble that floated just above Rose's outstretched hand, and the small orange gemstone at its center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without spoiling too much, Greg and Jasper may actually have an interaction next chapter! With words! :O WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IT'S ALMOST LIKE THIS FIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THEM AND THEIR ROMANCE AND I'VE JUST BEEN DALLYING SETTING THE PIECES NECESSARY IN A CONVOLUTED SETUP FOR THEM TO EVEN MEET LET ALONE FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY WANT TO SMOOCH EACH OTHER OMG.  
> I'm not good at this slow burn stuff, and anyone who's read this far has the patience of a saint.


	8. What's poppin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhgghh thank you all again for your patience. For some reason I thought I would have MORE time to write over the most recent holiday weekend when actually the opposite was true. We are chugging along though!

Rose glanced at the bubble suspended above her hand. "I..." She quickly allowed it to drift away. "I wasn't doing anything," she insisted. "I only came in here to think for a while."

"About what?" Greg asked.

She turned her face away from them. "Nothing," she mumbled, "it's not important. Amethyst, why is Greg here?"

Amethyst put her hands up in an overly-expressed shrug. "He told me he's running for president and he's gonna need some extra votes."

Greg watched a tiny smile work its way onto Rose's face. "Amethyst, tell the truth," she warned softly.

"Siiiiigh. You got me. We're just here for that robot."

"I-if that's okay!" Greg added.

"Greg, Smoothie's our friend! You gotta be more assertive than that!"

Rose hummed thoughtfully, but shook her head. "I'm sorry, you two. Garnet bubbled that little robot for a reason. As things stand right now, nothing's leaving this room but the three of us."

Amethyst stomped her foot on the ground in in what, if Greg hadn't known how old she really was, he would have assumed was a display of petulance. "Rose, I get that you respect Garnet's authority as leader of the Crystal Gems, but I just spent the last two hours telling Greg the entire history of gems on Earth-"

Rose's eyes widened with a look of slight panic, and her gaze flicked over to Greg. He felt his face warming in embarrassment. Amethyst had mentioned before that there were things Rose didn't exactly want to discuss, particularly around a near-stranger with no real connection to the gems.

"-And you know what I realized?" Amethyst continued, rather than waiting for verbal response, "You didn't save an entire planet from the clutches of destruction by listening to everything you were told to do. You stood up for what you thought was right!" She puffed out her chest. "And now, that's what we're doing! Right, Greg!"

"R-right!" he fumbled out, his heart racing. He puffed out his own chest and stood up a little straighter, mirroring Amethyst's current posture. "Smoothie may be a piece of alien technology from another planet, but so far it hasn't done anything wrong and... and imprisoning it here without reason is unfair." He started to sweat. "A-and probably violates state law!"

"Yeah, we'll sue!" Amethyst added proudly.

But Rose was already reaching up, pulling Smoothie's bubble down towards her. There was a sad, gentle smile on her face. "Alright, you two, no need to get the human court system involved." She held the bubble in one arm, and with a tap of her finger, it vanished, and Smoothie came to life in her arms, wriggling happily. She held it out to Greg, who reached for it excitedly, while Amethyst whooped in victory.

Smoothie whirred gently and nuzzled into Greg's chest. He felt something warm spreading in his heart as he hugged it. He never knew a robot with no facial features could look so happy. "Thank you so much!" he said, smiling up at Rose. As the words left his mouth, a small thought popped into his mind. He had quite a lot to thank her for, really. He wondered for half a moment if he should bring it back up, because she probably handed Smoothie over just to get Amethyst to stop talking about her past. But when would there be a better moment to show gratitude for her decision? "Hey," he said quietly, before he had thought it through, "I feel like I should say thanks, for saving the planet. I probably still don't know your whole story, but from what Amethyst told me, it sounded like you gave up..." just about everything "a lot to keep this place alive. Thank you."

He watched a bittersweet expression sweep over Rose's features. "Any time," she muttered with a quiet laugh. "Even I'm the whole reason this place was in danger to begin with."

"Do you ever have regrets?" he chanced, "About leaving your home behind? Your family?"

"I..." She paused, looking back to the bubble with the Jasper's gem in it as it drifted around her. "I didn't..."

"It sounded like she cared a lot about Pink Diamond," said Amethyst.

"Pfft, nobody cared about Pink Diamond," Rose scoffed.

"Maybe she liked you the way Pearl does," Amethyst cooed. Greg watched Rose's cheeks light up in a bright pink blush.

"I hope not," she giggled, and for once there wasn't a trace of sadness in her laugh. "Besides, Pearl's always liked me better as Rose. She was only loyal to me as a diamond because that's what she was supposed to be." The sadness returned to her voice. "That's the way everyone was. And who could blame them? I was so selfish and immature back then. Why would anyone actually care if Pink was gone?"

"Is there any way to just... ask her?" Greg wondered.

"Not without releasing her from the bubble," Rose replied, watching the bubble bob up and down in the air, "And I can't exactly do that. Garnet and Pearl would totally freak out."

"So tell them I did it," Amethyst offered. "As long as we bubble her back up again, Garnet might not find out. And if she does, you can just shove the blame onto me."

"Amethyst, I can't do that!"

"Why not? They get mad at me all the time. What's the worst they can do to me? Tell me not to leave my room? Rose, I would love to not leave my room! You've taken the fall enough times for me, let me return the favor."

"Amethyst..."

"Besides, maybe you can ask them what they're even doing here. 'checking out the cluster' didn't tell us jack."

Rose sighed. "What makes you think she would even answer any of my questions honestly instead of just picking another fight?" she demanded.

Amethyst shrunk down a little at this. "Wellllll, Pearl told me not to tell you 'cuz it might upset you, but... she saw your gem before she got poofed. Pearl thinks she might've recognized you."

Rose's hands reflexively clutched at the gem on her navel. "I see," she said. "Well then, Amethyst? I trust you know what to do?"

Amethyst nodded and drew out her whip. With astounding precision, she lashed out and popped the bubble in question before turning immediately to Greg. "We should probably get out of the way," she told him. He didn't question her call for a moment; he remembered how strong that alien gem had been, picking him up like he was a grape.

He picked a spot by the door to crouch down, hopefully hidden from Jasper's line of sight. Amethyst by his side, and Smoothie clutched tightly in his arms, he watched on as Jasper's gem glowed and floated up high in the air, her form quickly and decidedly emerging. When she came to, she was crouched down low to the ground, looking a little more rough than she had when she first arrived on the planet. She surveyed the room around her momentarily, seeming unfazed until her gaze fell upon Rose Quartz before her. Even from where he stood, Greg could see the fury burning in her bright yellow eyes.

"You," she growled, staring up directly at Rose's face, "Who are you?"

Rose took a defensive stance. "I think you may already know who I am," she said slowly, carefully.

"Show me," Jasper demanded.

Without another word, Rose closed her eyes and her form began to glow and shift. By the time she was done, her form had grown taller, more slender, and her hair was much shorter than it had been. The colors of her hair, skin, and clothing had all moved around, and her eyes were now a bright pink that matched the rest of her. Even her clothes changed, shifting from the regal prom dress of a fairy princess to a poofy outfit not unlike one that a clown might wear. He sat there in awe, marveling at how different she looked. She had picked a rather effective disguise, he reasoned.

If Jasper had been furious before, now she was just a barely contained pile of shaking rage. "I can't believe it," she muttered, turning her face to the ground. "You've been right here this whole time. There wasn't even an enemy behind the rebellion. It was just you, pulling all the strings, wasn't it?"

"Let it all out," Rose (Pink Diamond?) whispered, stepping towards Jasper. "I've been through this whole conversation a few times before. I'm ready to answer any questions you might have, as long as you remain calm-"

"Are you KIDDING ME??!!" Jasper screamed, "I've just been informed that the leader I trusted, that I laid down my own life for, has been parading around as the leader of the rebellion that supposedly resulted in her demise! What part of this information am I supposed to keep calm about, my diamond?!"

Pink Diamond looked down at her feet, and changed back into Rose.

"Was it you all along?" Jasper asked, "Did your other army know? Did they laugh at us gems who weren't traitors, who trusted you only to be led to our own demise?"

Rose remained silent.

"Did you ever plan on telling the other diamonds that you were still alive?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I was backed into a corner. None of the others would listen, and I couldn't stand by while this planet died!"

"But it was fine if it was your own army, right?!"

  
"Jasper, I understand that you're upset-"

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA, MY DIAMOND!"

"But I desperately need to know why you're here. Why did Homeworld send you after all this time?"

It was Jasper's turn to fall silent. To Greg, it seemed like she was weighing out whether to answer Rose or try and strike her down for good.

"I was assigned to escort a peridot here, because the equipment she kept sending was being lost and destroyed. Where is she?"

"For what purpose?" Rose asked.

"To check up on a geo-weapon that's being grown inside the planet's surface. Where is she?"

Rose gestured up toward the room's ceiling, where Jasper's companion was no doubt floating among the other bubbled gems. Jasper seemed taken aback by just how many gems were floating above her, but after looking them over for a moment, simply turned her attention back to Rose and said "I'm going to need for you to let us go."

"I can't do that," Rose responded, "I'm sorry."

Jasper squared up her shoulders. "Look, the only reason that peridot and I were sent here was because equipment was going missing. If we go missing, Yellow Diamond's just going to send more gems your way. But none of her orders covered bringing other gems back from Earth. Peridot and I will be gone after she checks on the cluster, and I won't tell anyone you're here. You can wither away with the dregs of your rebellion on this waste of a planet. How does that sound, my diamond?"

"My name is Rose," Rose muttered quietly. Jasper said nothing, still waiting for a response. She looked ready to fight if Rose declined her offer, and she had already taken her down once before. Greg held his breath, and Amethyst gasped as Rose raised one arm into the air.

But rather than drawing a weapon, she simply pulled another bubble down from the ceiling and passed it off to Jasper. "Leave as quickly as you can, please," she asked, quietly.

"With pleasure," Jasper replied, taking Peridot's bubble in her hands, but not popping it yet.

"But before you go," Rose whispered, halting her, "Please, tell me, do the other diamonds actually care that I'm gone?"

"What do you think?" Jasper asked with a glare. She power-walked past Rose to the exit, where Greg and Amethyst sat. Greg's arms tightened around Smoothie as he stepped out of her way. He had just gotten his friend freed, he wasn't ready to give them up again. Jasper seemed to notice how protective he was of the little Robot, and stepped back for a moment to look Greg over. "Tch. Did you really befriend a maintenance robonoid?"

"Y-yes?" Greg answered, "I think so, anyway."

"Ugh. This planet hasn't changed one bit." She pushed past him and Amethyst, and was out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, Rose just can't seem to hold her ground today. Also, now that they have exchanged words, the magic can begin!!! How simple does Jasper think her mission will be? How will she keep Peridot from blabbing to yellow when they return? Is Greg going to be ready for his upcoming concert?? All this and more will probably be answered within the soon!


	9. In need of a hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOOD FRICKING GOLLY ALL.  
> I really meant to update this sooner. A LOT has been happening, and while that all is mostly good, I have been very very ill these past few weeks. Yada yada, that's not all that important.   
> IF YOU'RE READING THIS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE and also i don't plan on getting that sick again in the near future so let's see if i can keep this more consistent from now on lmaoooooooo  
> Also HOW ABOUT THAT SEASON FINALE?

Bismuth's home was at the center of a small island in the pacific, far from human civilization and far from the rest of the Crystal Gems. Besides Bismuth herself, it boasted a large population of flamboyant birds with shimmering plumage and venomous lizards with fiery crests. Like took to like, Garnet supposed. Though wild creatures, most of them seemed unbothered by her and Pearl's approach, and Garnet had seen them acting outright friendly towards Bismuth herself. At least she wasn't lonely, all the way out here. That was one very nice thing about the Earth that Garnet had come to learn over the centuries. No matter where you went, you were never alone. Life was everywhere.

That said, it had been far too long since any of them had paid a visit to their dear friend. And if Garnet knew Bismuth, she knew the metallic gem was probably craving some real conversation, so this visit was well-timed, if nothing else.

She let Pearl lead the way along a twisting foot path, down a tunnel carved into the side of a rocky hill, and into the entrance of Bismuth's home. "Knock knock!" Pearl called out, announcing their arrival.

Bismuth greeted them with a wide, warm smile. "Well well, if it isn't two of my favorite people!" she said, setting down the small ax she had been polishing, "Long time no see!" Her arms opened wide and as soon as Garnet and Pearl were within reach, she scooped them both up into a big hug. "Oh jeez, I'm glad you two showed up. I was starting to lose my marbles trying to teach Fromaggio over there how to talk!"

In the opposite corner of the room, a deep croak warbled out from the mouth of a cow-sized lizard.

"No offense, buddy," Bismuth added quickly, "I know you're trying your best. She released her grip on her guests. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?"

Pearl grimaced. "Weeeellllllllllllllll, as nice as it would be to just chit-chat... we're here to ask for your help."

"And to fill you in on current events," Garnet added.

"Oh! And!" Pearl reached up to retrieve a thick paperback book from her gem. "I found the next book in that series you were reading, So I thought I'd bring it out to you!"

Bismuth gasped and took the book graciously. "Another one? I thought this was supposed to be a trilogy." She scanned the back cover eagerly.

"You should know by now that there's no such thing as a trilogy with human writers," Pearl chuckled. "I swear they don't know how to count to three!"

"We're getting off topic here," Garnet cut in. "Bismuth, two gems from Homeworld showed up last night." She reached down and caught Bismuth's new book just before it hit the floor.

"Are you serious?" Bismuth whispered. "You're not pulling my leg, right?"

Pearl looked to the floor, wrapping her arms around herself in worry. "I'm afraid not."

"You look like you need to sit down," said Garnet.

"Uh, yeah- I just. Let's sit while we talk about this." She walked over and threw herself backward into a lava pool in the corner of the room. Pearl yelped, barely dodging the molten rock that splashed outward. "Sorry," Bismuth mumbled, floating in the lava. "Make yourselves comfortable. Please. Continue."

Garnet slipped into the lava pool beside her, and Pearl perched up on one of the anvils. The heat was welcoming, relaxing despite how tense she was. Ever since those robonoids had showed up, she had been working overtime, peering into every single rivulet of possibility that she could think of. It was important that nothing catch them off guard now, and it was wearing her out. She half-listened as Pearl relayed all the details of the previous night. In the back of her mind, she was still looking over what could lay before them.

"So," Bismuth mumbled, "any idea why Homeworld decided to show their ugly faces here after all these years?"

"Unfortunately, no," said Pearl.

"Rose will know what it is," Garnet whispered, "She'll find out, anyway. And I trust her to fill us in."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll find out. "

Bismuth scoffed. "Fine, keep your secrets. What I really want to know is... are we gonna be safe?"

"Hmm."

"Maybe," said Pearl, "With your help?"

"Oh yeah? Whatcha need?"

"From any angle I've looked at it, these two aren't going to be the last Homeworld gems we see. There will be more. Whether it's an army or an entourage... that depends on a few factors outside of our control. But if they do show up hostile, I'm thinking we shouldn't go down without a fight."

"Of course we wouldn't."

"But we are outnumbered."

"That's never stopped us before, has it?" Bismuth asked with a grin.

Garnet smiled back at her. "See, this is why we get along so well."

Bismuth stroked her chin. "So, we'd need weapons to make up for our lack of numbers. Something to even the odds. Pearl? What do you think?"

"Well, I've always thought the best defense is a good offense, so why don't we build a giant laser cannon and BLAST THEM OUT OF THE SKY?!" she piped up excitedly.

"Well yeah, that's one way to take care of it."

"I LIKE IT!" Bismuth shouted back. "How big are we talking?!"

Pearl put up a holographic display from her gem and the two of them chattered eagerly about whether a laser powerful enough to take down some of Homeworld's larger ships would even fit on the planet. Garnet tuned them out. If they were lucky, if things worked out impossibly in their favor, then none of this would need to end in violence. But setting up the steps necessary for a completely peaceful interactions with Homeworld would be like trying to string truck tires and cheerios on a thread of spider's silk.

She was startled from her thoughts as Bismuth sent a splash of lava in her direction. "So, what's our time frame for this gonna be like?" Bismuth asked. "A few days? Months? Years?"

"It depends."

"Oh, of course it does. Everything _depends_ with you. On what, though?"

"It depends on who unbubbles our guests. And when."

Pearl chuckled confidently. "Well, then we have some semblance of control, right? We can keep them in their bubbles until the time is right."

Garnet shook her head. "Nah, Jasper's probably gonna be out and about by the time we get back to the temple. Peridot, too, if we stay and watch the sun set."

"WHAT?!" Pearl sputtered, "Garnet, she can't be _loose_ in the _temple_! She'll be thirsting for vengeance!"

"And whether she decides to take a sip is our deciding factor. Rose can handle this. Probably."

"This is no time for joking around!" Pearl hopped down from the anvil and stomped her foot onto the ground. "Bismuth, it's been lovely to see you, but we need to GO. NOW." She marched quickly out the exit before Bismuth could even respond with a 'goodbye!'

Garnet held back for a few, necessary moments, rising slowly from the lava pool. "Sorry to cut our visit short," she said to Bismuth. "We'll stop by again soon though, I promise. Or you could come visit us. Either works."

"Sure. Hey, before you go, just tell me one thing. How uh... how screwed are we right now?"

This wasn't an easy question to answer honestly. "Well. If we can manage to get either of those gems on our side, we could actually make it out of this completely uncracked. if we could get both of them, we'd be absolutely set."

"Something tells me that's not what's actually going to happen though, right?"

"You never know. They could fall in love with the Earth as easily as we did."

* * *

  
Jasper's order of operations was as follows:  
1\. Get yourself and that Peridot on the handship and move it far, far away.  
2\. Take a deep breath. Steady yourself.  
3\. And another deep breath. Okay.  
4\. Pop the bubble.  
5\. When she asks you what happened, lie. LIE TO HER LIKE THE DIAMOND WHO MADE YOU LIED TO YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Peridot reformed... smaller than Jasper remembered her being. Was that something Peridots did? Change size?

"Oh!"Jasper smacked her palm to her face in the most dignified manner possible, just as Peridot's feet touched down. "Your limb enhancers!"

"Jasper?! My what?!" Peridot flailed. "Where- oh. We're back on the ship. What happened?" She glanced bemusedly at her own hands. "Where are my enhancers?"

"Yeah, I forgot to grab those. I was in such a hurry to get away from those _HUMANS_ that attacked us, that I forgot about your limb enhancers. That was a terrible mistake on my part."

Peridot squinted as she took in this information. "Humans? Wait, didn't we confront a group of rebel gems upon our arrival? I could have sworn-"

"No." Jasper cut her off. "Those were humans. They were trying to scare us off the planet with some weird theatrics."

"Those were very convincing theatrics."

"They...'re very well-practiced. In any case, the issue has been dealt with. I apologize for my failure to completely protect you. It won't happen again."

"Oh. Well. Um. I'm sure even a gem of your caliber makes mistakes every now and then, and you dealt with the issue before any real harm was done." Peridot didn't look like she fully believed Jasper, or even the words she was speaking. "So, I don't see any need to include your slip up in my report! Which... I will be needing my limb enhancers for. We should retrieve them immediately. "

"You don't have spares on the ship?"

 

"I didn't exactly expect to lose the ones I had."

 

"Oh. Right." Jasper's lie wouldn't hold if they ran into the Crystal Gems a second time. "Look, that area is swarming with humans and other organics that are all a bit, let's say, territorial. Why don't you wait here on the ship, where they can't hurt you a second time, and I'll go fetch your limb enhancers? That sound good?"

"How long will it take you?"

Jasper puffed out her chest. "Probably not very long," she said. "Just. Stay put and focus on our mission."

"And do what while I wait exactly? I can't actually _do_ anything without my enhancers."

"Pfft. You'll figure something out, I'm sure." She turned toward the exit. "Maybe you could even try sleeping! That's how I pass the time."

* * *

 

Greg had his butt in the sand, his guitar in his hands, and a happy little robot whirring away by his feet. The sun was rising over Beach City, and as much as he was enjoying the peaceful moment, a small part in the back of his brain wondered just how long it would last before the next alien, monster, or dangerous magical woman with a dark past would come waltzing into the scene.

The answer, a resounding, 'not long, chump!' slowly emerged from the waves, a little ways away as a shape rose from the water. If she had been covered in any more kelp, he'd have thought she was a sea monster of some sort, but as it was, he could tell it was Jasper by the brilliant oranges and reds that poked through between clumps of green and black.

For once, his instinct kicked in immediately. With Smoothie in one arm and his guitar in the other, he scrambled up over the dunes and crouched low, watching her from a distance. She was making her way toward the temple from the water, kicking up sand, searching the ground for something. As she scanned about, Greg must have caught her eye. He crouched down towards Smoothie, ready to bolt at a moment's notice if need be.

"You, again?!" She called out. "What, do you live here, or something?"

"Wh- I mean, yeah, kind of?" he called back. "That's kind of what we Earthlings do... you know, live on Earth?"

She stared at him with a blank expression. "You're not very bright, are you?"

"Oh come on, I knew what you meant, it was a joke! Why are _you_ back here?"

"I don't have to tell you that." She turned away from him and resumed searching the ground around the temple.

"Yeah, okay, whatever. The beach is a public space." He resumed his crouching position, watching her closely. He wasn't sure what all he could do in the event that she made another move against the Crystal Gems, but he was ready for anything. A few minutes passed, and all she did was kick up more sand along the beach. "If you're looking for the planet's self-destruct button, you're not gonna find it here," he called out, "trust me. If it was located in America this planet would be chunks by now."

"The remote-destruct switch for this planet is on the moon where it should be." She said without hesitation. "Believe me, the temptation to go and flip it is immense, but that's not why I'm here."

Was that a joke? That didn't sound like a joke. Greg really hoped there wasn't actually a self-destruct switch. He chuckled nervously, resting his head on the top of the sand dune.. "So uhm. Do you want some help finding whatever you are looking for, then?" he chanced.

She actually paused her search to turn and face him in the most terrifying power stance he had ever seen. "Do I _look_ like I need your help, human?!" she barked.

"N-no? You uh. You sure look-" Buff. Absolutely shredded and incredibly tall and very, very intimidating. Greg's mind flashed back to when she held him in the air like it was no big deal. "-like you've got whatever this is under control." _And then some._ Greg shut his mouth after that. From experience, he knew the only thing more dangerous than a person who looked like they could beat him up was an angry person who could beat him up. But he stayed put, still intent on keeping an eye on her in case she did something suspicious. She seemed determined to find whatever it was that was buried in the sand.

With all of his attention on Jasper, he hadn't really been watching Smoothie, who was now waddling confidently towards her. "Ah, perfect!," she said with a grin as the robot approached. Greg felt a spike of panic in his pulse as she stood over it. He quickly scrambled up over the dune after it stumbling down onto the beach, but Jasper was already taking charge. "You've got metal detection features, don't you? Help me locate Peridot's limb enhancers. They've gotta be around here somewhere."

Smoothie chirped happily and scuttled off down the shore, beeping with a steady rhythm. Greg stopped scrambling and watched it go, before turning his attention back to Jasper. She laughed at his panic, flat out. "Don't worry," she said, flipping her hair out of her eyes, "I'm not taking it away."

"Pff. I wasn't worried," Greg said with a shrug. He didn't believe it, and he knew she wouldn't, but he had to at least _try_ to play it cool. "I uh, I didn't even know Smoothie could do that? Metal detecting..."

She crossed her arms. "That's because you don't see it as a tool. Which, by the way, is what it is. I know your kind will bond with anything, but a robonoid is still a robonoid, even when you give it a ridiculous name."

Greg thought on that for a moment. "Have you spent a lot of time around humans, then?"

Jasper's expression grew immediately sharper. "That's none of your business," she growled. "And anyway, why do-" She was cut off by Smoothie's furious beeping from down the shore. "Ah, finally." She marched down to the spot where it danced on the wet sand and crouched down low to dig up a few pieces of green equipment. When she was done, Smoothie came scuttling back to Greg at top speed. "Thanks, I guess," she called over her shoulder.

Then she disappeared back into the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also it's official i cannot write a long fic without a huge laser in it. This is law.


End file.
